The Day the World Ends by Ethan Coen

Author:Ethan Coen [Coen, Ethan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-95631-6
Publisher: Crown
Published: 2012-04-03T00:00:00+00:00

She raised one eyebrow:

“Gross,” she said,

Which he did just hear,

And take,

Clattering down with him, to darkness.

Getting Old

Getting old

It really sucks

First goes figure

Then go fucks

Then your wits

Decide they’re done

Yeah gettin old

She ain’t no fun.

To the English Language

Thank you

For being there

During certain parts of my life:

When friends failed me,

When women dumped me,

When my weight ballooned and I was treated in the

hurtfully dismissive way familiar to those

Who are fat.

Because of you, I could respond,

Protest,

Declare my humanity

And, in verbalizing, prove it.

Yes, while my weight went up, and down,

While women came, and left,

Taking their record albums and often some of mine,

While certain sores, both literal and figurative, developed,

Festered,

And then popped and faded

Leaving itchy purple marks and memories of pus

(Both literal and figurative),

You were there,

Always,

Giving me a medium for my thoughts,

My precious thoughts,

That nobody else much gave a shit about,

But that I could objectify in you and ponder,

Which was helpful.

Also—

And let’s not forget this—

You enabled me to earn a living

And not have to be a farmer, which who wants to be,

Or, worse, forage for grubs and berries as my hair

Got matted.

And you also helped me to persuade women to sleep with

me

—Women who would later dump me, it’s true,

But that wasn’t your fault,

Even though some of the things they said when they

dumped me

Were your fault,

In a way,

If you think about it.

But you have been good to me, mostly;

You have let me compare my thoughts

To the thoughts of others down the ages

Who, having been dumped by women and so forth,

Recorded their experiences through you

So that I could relate myself to them

And be succored and inspired.

Also, you will someday help me to recruit new women

(Who—true—will later dump me) to sleep with me,

And plus we can chat in bed after.

So, on balance,

You are good, very good.

You mean so very much to me, O English language,

And I love you.

I love you.

I really do.

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